So I have been gambling since I was 18. Never had an issue. Would lose some and win. More just for fun. Biggest win would be like 2000. Than life happened and I was content not gambling. Got a serious relationship. Realized money was best used elsewhere. Fast forward to age 21. Girlfriend leaves me. I find casinos. End up depressed and at the casinos way too often. Sometimes 3-4 times a week and some times for 5-6 hours at a time. At the end of a 6 month period About 6-7k in the hole. Went cold turkey on everything gambling. Realized it was stupid and I learned my lesson. Takes me about a year to recover from that. This takes me to this year. Quarantine starts. Finally pay off all my debt. No interest in sports. Decide to deposit and see where it takes me. Long story short. After about 3 weeks im up about 22k with a total risk of my own money being about 3 grand. I can’t believe it. Long story short as we all know how it goes after a big win. I lost it all. And some. I am now back down 6-7k in debt. Can not believe I let myself do that. Every once in a while I will deposit some cash. And without fail. I turn it into 3-4k. But than lose it all. Its like I dont stop until the money is gone. Then I justify putting more in cause I know I can get it to 3-4k again and the cycle repeats. If I had any will power id be able to pocket some of this money but I always try to double my money and it ends up gone. Am I alone is making this justification to myself? Its so depressing and I know I will financially recover AGAIN from my losses but I am worried about when I start making real money down the line. How do I tell myself that gambling is a losing proposition no matter what. Please help. Literally worried for the future.
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